Why I Don’t Want to Die in Wal-Mart

Black Friday is here and thousands (if not millions) of people are going to hit stores in a wild frenzy to spend money and stock up on clothes, shoes, electronics, toys, stuff for furnishing an apartment … you name it. You would think that Black Friday was specifically created for people like me, big shoppers and fervent spenders. How can a shopping addict forego an abundance of stuff enhanced by early opening hours and seemingly great discounts?

If that’s what you think, brace yourself for a surprise. You are WRONG.

I don’t understand Black Friday. I despise it. I wish it would be banned. It is a consumerist nightmare created for naïve shoppers who believe in great deals and huge savings. I love shopping but I would rather stay home on Black Friday for very obvious reasons.

  • I don’t want to pressure myself to be waiting in hoards of angry shoppers.
  • People in those long lines scare me as they measure me up and down while deciding if they can tackle me down when doors finally open.
  • I don’t want to die in Wal-Mart, or Target, or Best Buy. Black Friday reduces human life to prices on products.
  • Black Friday gives people a socially acceptable excuse to punch a kid in a face, run over a pregnant woman with a cart, break a man’s nose or trample someone to death. All of this in the name of a $200 TV or a $5 dollar video game.

What a shopping enthusiast, like me, knows about Black Friday shopping deals:

  1. Top-brand laptops, TVs and other electronics will not be discounted so much that it suddenly becomes worth losing a few teeth in an attempt to break through a few gorillas in line. Dentist bills might be pretty high even if you have insurance. I’d wait till AFTER holiday sales, specifically for January-February. That’s when all the big and great sales happen. Especially when 2011 inventory gets so outdated that it needs to go fast.
  2. Winter clothes will be much better discounted in late winter or early spring. In fact, I stock up on my winter apparel when retailers prepare their store space for spring collections. That’s when you really get great deals on clothes and shoes. Instead of going to H&M for some $15 winter coat that falls apart after a week, wait a few months and hit North Face store in spring.
  3. Jewelry should not be an item on your shopping list because it does not get any decent discounts, especially during Holiday season. Why cut prices on something that is in high demand? The deals might sound good, but I recommend waiting for slow sale months. This is when you will see much better deals. Don’t propose during holidays, unless for some reason you have to!

Whatever is on your list for Black Friday, think about any additional potential cost that your so much desired item might carry. Is it really worth it?

We are not living in the shadow of World War II or times of hunger in the U.S. We don’t need to fight for our lives or for a piece of bread. People are hitting, trampling , punching and pushing each other in a savings-hungry rush to get to stuff, stuff and more stuff.

Why aren’t we ashamed of the onslaught of consumerist debauchery that we, consumers, have created?

2 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Want to Die in Wal-Mart”

  1. I totally agree with this – there’s nothing I really WANT (or NEED, for that matter) available at deep discount on Black Friday. The only thing I’ve ever seen that really got my attention was a Dyson vacuum last year at Bed, Bath, and BEyond – but even still, it’s rarely worth the time or effort! I’ll just wait for the President’s Day sales, thankyouverymuch.

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