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Sometimes I get frustrated with my life (and myself) because it seems that paying off debt is an endless process, a perpetual torture of saying “no”, a continuous refusal to spend on something that makes me happy. It feels that there is no end, no light and no way out.
I make one payment after another after another but nothing happens. I think one of the reasons I go on my shopping binges is because I want to feel alive. When all you do is work, pay bills, budget, pay some more bills, cut expenses, refuse purchases, you end up feeling tired, miserable and deprived.
The other day, when I was in a bad mood, contemplating our debt reduction action plan, I almost gave up. Believe me, I would not be the first or the last one to give up. Some of us do know what we want and still surrender. Some of us are intently focused on achieving our financial goals, and still stop in the middle of the road. Some of us have enough reasoning and motivation to keep going, and still halt to a full stop.
But then I remembered that there are things, good positive things, that can help me to change my attitude.
The following is for those of you who are like me:
who have doubts
who feel like they are being trapped
who are exhausted by never ending debt
who want to feel alive
who hate that big gap between where you want to be and where you are now.
I can say that I am going to pay off ALL my debt in one year. I can also say that I am going to the moon.
Numbers speak louder than any words, plans and dreams. We cannot make double payments on our bills. I wish we could! But it is not possible. We still need to eat, pay our mortgage, pay our bills and take care of our pets. And… yes, we still need to be able to travel, shop and have fun.
Being realistic with what I can do and cannot do helps me to decide what I should do.
Call me naïve. Call me a fool. I like to daydream, imagining our life AFTER we pay off our debt. I visualize a dazzling version of our life after debt. Somehow it makes it easier for me to stick to our budget and keep myself away from the malls. Those day dreams and images of what life can be are my motivation. They keep me going. They build my anticipation of a better life.
Most importantly, I always pay close attention to that gap between where we are now and where we want to be. I know it is getting smaller and smaller.