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I am a believer that everything is shared in a marriage. We share the ups and downs, the good times and the bad. We are a team that strives to improve our lives for the better, and we do this together.
Right now we are trying to tackle our debt in the hopes that someday we will be debt free. This goal is really hard, and it takes a lot of sacrifice by the both of us. But, being married to a shopping addict makes this goal even harder to reach. When I get frustrated and start to get discouraged, I just remind myself that both of us are sacrificing, and we are both fighting hard to become debt free.
That being said there are two things that I try to get across to Aloysa. I believe it have helped with her shopping addiction. For years she would buy cheap products because they were on sale. These cheap things would end up being donated or thrown away a year later because they were cheaply made, and after a few uses they would fall apart or not look good anymore.
I have tried to emphasize the point that you get what you pay for. I have tried to push her to buy classic, quality products that are timeless and are going to last. Clothes that are simple and classic: shoes that are comfortable and stylish instead of flashy ones that hurt her feet. Trends come and go, but simple and classic bypass trends and look good whether they are “in” or not. Simple, Classic, Quality, these are the words I try to emphasis to Aloysa when she goes shopping.
The best way to get me through the days when she brings home new clothes that I know that she doesn’t need is to remind myself that we BOTH have a shopping problem. Aloysa loves to shop and I am not going to take that away from her. I am not going to get mad and take away something in her life that brings her so much joy. I think that would be unfair, mean, and frankly cruel. I would not want to be treated like that and I am not going to treat her like that.
Our marriage is based on trust and communication, and that is why it is so strong. We talk about how we are trying to pay off our bills and what we can do to reach these goals. Shopping hampers reaching these goals (not how to be rich goals but just getting out of debt) as fast as we would like, but I know that in the long run we will pay off our debt and we are going to stay deft free for the rest of our lives.
I know that we can do it, and I know that we are going to do it together.