Lucille’s Mid-Life Musings: Money Can Buy Self-Love!

I’ve got a new writer for My Broken Coin. I was debating for quite a while if I should get some help. As you all know my work has been rough on me in the past few months. Finally, I’ve decided that it was time for me to look for a writer. I know some bloggers are against hiring writers for a blog because they feel that a blog with a few different writers loses its authenticity. I am going to prove them wrong.

Lucille has been my reader from the very start. She is a writer, activist and free spirit. Believing that life is too short, her mission is to live creatively and joyfully. Wealth  and healthy relationship building are some of the themes she waxes lyrical about on her blog.  You’ll find her “uncommon senseat: www.wisdomona.blogspot.com

Lucille’s writing is personal, touching, and heartbreaking at times. Please welcome Lucille on board of My Broken Coin. She will be here every Wednesday.

All good things usually come with a hefty price tag. We value whatever brings us more peace of mind and a healthy attitude to money can do just that. What money brings is sweet balm to our ravaged minds as we try to balance that budget and a get a grip on our expenditure as it rises faster than our income.

Rising expenses can mean plummeting self worth.  I don’t know about you but I experience a dismal period every month (which has nothing to do with my lady parts). Ten days of gloom before pay day as I wait for my salary to replenish the coffers. I hate that feeling of tightening the purse strings and it’s usually during such times that I take a hit– the roof springs a leak, the car breaks down, a black tie event demands a new dress, a new sports kit is needed or a visitor comes to stay. Unexpected expenses play havoc with the most disciplined of budgets and my emergency fund has been renamed  “the rollercoaster”!

 Lack of money has a way of making us feel less than whole and in fact downright miserable. When I’m in the black my mind feels light and my resolve strengthened that I can remain there. As soon as the figures take a dip then so does my mood. Low self esteem surfaces and engulfs my spirit.

You only have to walk past a homeless person begging in the street to feel a pang of “ there but for the grace of God go I”. You can warm the heart of any down and out when you share a few dollars( even if they go and waste it). Everyone feels stronger with money but without it, there’s desperation and despair. In the past, I’ve not exactly hit the bottom but I’ve touched base with it. It’s a terrible feeling to think that you might lose your financial independence.

Independence of mind and body can be maintained with money. You don’t have to kow tow to anyone. You don’t have to share your life with a disagreeable person if you can just up sticks and leave. Money begets opportunity and freedom. They have a price and that price is large sums of disposable income and a few good investments. My modest portfolio keeps me warm at night. My bed’s not filled with roses but I prefer it to a bed of nails!

Dependency is ugly. No one would choose it but sometimes a little indulgence may become full blown addiction. When you suffer some unexpected catastrophe – from losing your possessions in a fire to finding out that you are terminally ill – it could be the universe’s way of having compassion returned to you. Money helps when you’re in trouble. It feels good to give and receive.

I treat money with care but I also like to throw it around. When I do I always feel bad about mistreating a vital resource. Money is whatever you want it to be so….. be careful! The amount we have dictates how we think, act and treat our fellow man. Of course it’s good to have a lot of money from a legal source.

I’ve whiled away many an hour dreaming of lottery wins and how I’ll share it. Family and friends will be showered with a multitude of treats: a smart convertible, a sleek new wardrobe, dream home and luxury travel is nearly on everyone’s wish list. When you’ve known the hard side of life, money is instant stress relief.

In the past, money and me had a difficult relationship and my former partner would have liked to lock it all away in a vault and live like a church mouse. There’s a fine line between a careful spender and a miser. For the hoarder, money is a source of insecurity. They don’t derive much joy from their wealthy status. Spenders give full rein to their desires and spend a lot more time de-cluttering.

Wise investors reap meaningful rewards. They speculate, take some losses along the way, until they finally accumulate. They engage in philanthropy and projects that are life affirming. Great wealth is great responsibility and I wouldn’t shy away.

Money can be dirty too and any launderer knows it’s tougher to wash out those stains of greed. Money is damaging in the wrong hands, but so can anything, so don’t play the blame game with it! Money can throw open the doors to your heart or place a large bolt across it. It has tremendous power to make or break relationships. Money and poor self worth is a deadly combo.

Do you see your bank account as half full or half empty? Is there gratitude for what you already have? Do you seek to keep up with the Jones’s? Arrogance is money’s evil twin if you don’t stay grounded.

I work on maintaining a healthy self-image by finding productive ways to get rich inside. Working, writing, gardening, exercising, socialising, relaxing and donating my time strengthens my self-worth and human connections. It’s a sensible but slow path.

Success, more often than not, is defined in monetary terms.  Be honest, you just wouldn’t feel positive without a decent sum in the bank. At that time of the month, I often feel defeated when I look at my statement. That’s when I have to keep my negative emotions in check and silence the inner critic. I shine some love on myself by remembering the good things I have that money can’t buy….it’s a short list!

When the bad times come, I treat myself gently and look for the lesson. Adversity is a powerful teacher; one that I’ve not often paid enough attention to. I practise forgiving myself for my debts.  Paying them off is tedious but I’m on an honourable path. One day soon when I’m free (and richer) I’ll pass on a touch of wisdom to someone who’s walking in my old shoes.

Money doesn’t just talk; it sings and dances too! People look at you with a new respect and envy too (and doesn’t that feel good?). You may not get through the eye of a needle but you sure as hell can get through a lot of doors. Stepping out of a limo in an elegant cocktail dress with an equally dashing partner at a swanky restaurant – who wouldn’t want a slice of that life?

Self-education and self-love enriches too. Love is the universal currency and it’ll be transferred to my bank account…eventually. Will it change me? Of course, I’ll be striding out with a little more confidence and a beachfront home. The best things in life are not cheap but, with a little discernment (and money), you can raise your self-esteem and much more.

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