Yes, YOU doing curls in the squat rack! Listen up!
I like lifting weights for one reason only. Lifting weights transforms your body faster than any cardio exercise will ever do. I am sure you can agree with me or you would not be here showing your competitive streak by lifting 300 pounds while screaming like a little boy who is being mauled by a bear.
If you ask me what is my preference in a workout, I will be honest and say that I don’t like to work out. But exercising is good for us, so I try to push myself and go to the gym, and make my way to the weight room where you and I are forced to spend time with each other for about thirty-forty minutes. Why can’t we make those minutes more pleasant and less annoying?
I hate the weight room at our gym because of you. I hate it very passionately. This passion of mine, negatively directed towards the weight room (but mostly directed towards you), upsets my husband because he loves lifting weights with me, and I refuse to go to the weight room as often as I should.
You, I am sure, love the weight room in our gym, because it seems to me that you are there all the time, grunting, screaming and throwing weights around the room. You strut around, showing off in front of the others. You don’t realize it, but it makes you look like a bunch of pimply fourteen year olds. You look much, much older to me, by the way.
Besides being almost the only woman in the weight room, swirling my way to the squat rack among your sweaty and bulky bodies, while trying not to breathe at the same time, I am also almost the only person in the weight room who does a full body work out. It might come as a surprise to you but the idea of the squat rack is … to do squats. Ever heard of them?
For some reason you never do squats in the weight room. Or deadlifts. Or lunges. Mostly you do upper body workouts. You obsessively work your chest, arms and back. I have to admit (with a cringe and a sigh) that as the result of these workouts, your upper bodies look great.
But your legs… I want to call them chicken legs. Do your leg workouts! First, it will make me look less out of place when I do squats in the weight room. Second, your chicken legs will disappear, and your body will look proportionate.
I think that you are afraid of lower body work out for a reason: some of you posses less coordination and flexibility in your lower body, and it is easier to ignore workouts such as deadlifts, lunges and step-ups. And my favorite squats!
Talking about squats … again. The squat rack is for squats and NOT for barbell curls. Do not swing your whole body in front of me while attempting to curl in the squat rack. Seriously, I am not obsessed with squats, even though I sound like I am. I am just asking – please no curls in the squat rack.
One more thing! Very important! Guys, stop grunting, twisting around, and screaming while trying to curl 200 pounds. Either stop making all the noises, or do us all a favor, and lower the weight. Amen!